don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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