I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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