They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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