I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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