so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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