we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
