East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
