I'm going to jail i love you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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