I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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