Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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