he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
