either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
