She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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