Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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