I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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