i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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