she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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