I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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