margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
