Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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