Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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