Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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