Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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