Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
