I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
