now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
