I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
