Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
