is your mom at the bar?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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