Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
