i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
