She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize