Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
