I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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