Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
