Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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