This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
