Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
