Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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