i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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