My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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