Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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