No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
