garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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