who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
