I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
