Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
