fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize