there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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