I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't turn off my feet"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
