I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
