I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
