If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
