Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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