Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
