So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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