brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
