So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
